Smokin’ in the Boys’ Room 2


I am a fan of the indoor smoking ban in Washington State, and also of the law that requires smokers to remain at least 25 feet away from entrances to buildings. Although, technically, I’m pretty sure the law only applies while they are actually in the process of smoking, otherwise, how could a smoker ever go inside anywhere? But I digress…

I need to figure out where and how I can complain about the enforcement of this law at the Seattle Airport. At any time of the day, you can go to the Arrivals level and see clearly marked lines drawn in black on the walls/windows where smoking is permitted on the covered sidewalk, and red lines with big “NO SMOKING” signs where it isn’t. And you can always find multiple smokers, actually leaning ON THE SIGNS as they fill the air with foul smelling smoke. The law was written so I don’t have to walk through a cloud of smoke as I exit the airport, or stand in a cloud of smoke as I wait for my ride to show up. It’s not a question of police presence, either. There are always multiple cops on foot walking around and yelling at drivers who have stopped their cars for a millisecond too long. And on the Departure level, where smoking isn’t allowed at all, the cops walk right past the smokers to yell at drivers who actually want to stop to let their passengers out, instead of just slowing to 5 mph and letting them jump from the moving car.

Is it too much to ask these guys to write a few tickets to the smoking area violators? They could be a source of additional revenue for the state. The cops have to be there anyway to enforce the “No waiting, stopping, or parking” policy at the airport, right? Especially now that they’ve closed the cell phone waiting lot and are trying to convince drivers to pay to park while they wait to pick up their friends and family. Huh? What’s that? You want me to pick you up at the airport at 5AM, and pay to wait for an extra hour because your plane was delayed? I’d rather pay for your cab ride, thank you. But I digress again.

My solution (which my wife won’t let me do) is simple. I want to carry a can of fart spray (you can get them at most joke shops) and spray it in the air around a smoker any time I can smell their smoke. I mean, what’s the difference? If anything, what they’re doing is worse because I’m just stinking up the place, while they’re stinking up the place AND potentially causing me cancer, emphysema, lung disease, etc. Last time I checked, there wasn’t any Surgeon General’s warning on fart spray.

Anyway, I’m not going to back down on this. I’m going to figure out who to call, and I’m going to track my progress here. Anyone got any ideas about to whom or how to complain to get this going?

  • Michelle

    Fart spray! LOL! Oh, and apparently I should have my head examined just for being here, but I’m o.k with that. It wouldn’t be the first time that suggestion was made! I have always wanted to carry a can of spray paint and spray the taggers that graffiti all over property that is not theirs. Fight the good fight! The world needs more warriors.

  • I 100 percent agree with you. I hate SEATAC just for that reason, just to start….I have to fly my kids down to TX every month, part of our custody agreement but I won custody. Anyways enough about that.

    Complaining isnt going to do anything because they are even the ones smoking in uniform outside in the NOGO zone. I was sitting with my 3 year old, she was 2 then, when this A-hole just lit up right next to us. Her being the closest to him. I looked at him then looked at the BIG blue no smoking zone signs, he just shrugged his shoulders. I asked him to please move into the smoke zone. He gave me “what you going to do about it” look. I said again in a stern tone, “my daughter doesn’t need to smoke your cigarette, this is why we have laws.” He’s replies with “I have my freedoms too”. I told him he can take his freedoms and shove them up his ass. I got a purple heart for his freedoms and if he doesn’t move I will put his cancer stick threw his skull. He said “Oh Im sorry sir, I didn’t see your daughter, and thanks for everything you do.” I just looked at him and said, “no problem.

    I just retired from the Army in April. I am rated 170 percent disabled by the VA. But its all good. I don’t feel it sometimes. But hey thats the drugs for yah. I found your site through your theater site while looking for man cave ideas. I am looking at buying a home soon and want to do a Seahawks one. I love them, i even got up at 4 am in Iraq just to catch a game, TWICE. hahaa and still had to go back to work at 9.

    Take care and God Bless……